Hah ha!

I finished Blood and Ink a bit late, but I finished it. XD I’m still not sure how I feel about sharing all the poems. Some of them were quite silly., others were just tapped out to give that day it’s words, some need edits, but I’m not quite sure how to fix them to my liking. Either way, it was a fun experiment!

One thing I learned while I was nearing the end of the days was that I tend to write by a theme even without prompts. If anything it was harder to fit the prompts because I had my own growing theme as the course of the month went on, than trying to even think of poems at all. Another thing I learned is that I really am a slow writer, and that my own personal slowness, combined with my occasional health issues flaring up, really means I should stop fighting myself so much and allow myself the room to be slow. It’s annoying. Very frustrating. But it must be done if I’m ever going to get any writing done. It becomes very easy to get weighed down by all the not writing I’m doing that I end up…not…writing.

I may have given myself a couple months rest between, but I completed the prompts and I’m happy. I’ll share some of the poems in a post later on, but I just felt like talking about the process a bit here. Or rather, a part of the process. I hadn’t realised I hadn’t shared any updates since that first week, though I did continue to share some on my Twitter. XD

While I get better at blogging, I hope if you’re interested in what I’m doing at you’ll check out my other social media in the mean time. I definitely mean to keep increasing my activity. It’s a bit slow goings, but we’ve established I’m not much of a sprinter. XD

As far as more poetry sharing goes, I’m looking forward to April! I want to try a daily poem for National poetry month as well! I might even do a poetry challenge. Are there already poetry writing challenges? If not I guess I’ll have to come up with something myself. XD While working on Blood and Ink I found myself gravitating towards my story about the monk and his prince rival (Yaisha). I might just keep following that direction, writing about my characters and the worlds they exist in.

Do you have any April writing plans? I think it might also be a Camp NaNoWriMo month. I’ve been focusing on short stories for the start of the year so I probably won’t be partaking in it this year. Currently working on one in the Neon Days universe and one inspired by a drama I’ve been watching but frustrated with. XD Technically…it’s not fanfiction if it’s all stuff you’ve made up yourself.

*Insert Here*tober

Doing a poem challenge this October while I do Inktober, Blocktober, and work on my story planning. XD I haven’t been able to do every day of Blocktober and Inktober, but doing pretty well on Blood and Ink so far. Here is the first week’s poems, featuring one about one of this WriMos OCs! If you want to see them day by day head over to my twitter and you’ll see the whole thread as the days go.

D1. Poison Apple

Emerald in your eyes
But I do not see the glint
Or smell the fragrance on your skin
Of apple pie and arsenic
After all we’ve done together
Of course I’d trust you friend
How could I accept you’d be the one
to usher in my end?

D2. Starlight

In space no one can hear you scream
Which is fine, they don’t hear you coming
No warning, as what they see is the echo of a millennia ago
When you arrive it is too late
How foolish they were to test the gods
Who designed you just for this
As you swallow them all whole
Crushed by the weight of your stomach
Burned in the glare of your eyes
Devouring charted vessels, moons, entire constellations gone in the blink of an eye
All as they stare in awe at the brilliance of the night
They don’t know what has happened
There is no radio to know that it is silent
Hopeful as they watch you burn brighter and brighter
Fearful joy as you arrive

D3. Incantation

Blue the words around the air
Crisp as they are sharp
Gold the colour of his hair
Sweeter his voice than a harp
Black the rage and his despair
When his love was lost
His grief impossible for him to bear
What more can his victory cost?

D4. Harvest Time

Dare not pucker your lips
You asked for this, remember?
However bitter, swallow it;
However large take it by the bite.
This tree is all your own.
Did you not till the soil, plant the seed,
water it with your own spring?
Who fertilised this land?
The sky, the ocean, the moon, or stars?
No, it was you.
You did this.
Enjoy.

D5. Cat Eyes

Following through the night
Round corners
Over bush
Creeping through the alley

Cutting through the mist so bright
Gone in a wink
And here again

With a yowl
Here it comes
A streak too fast to catch

Purring pleasant at your fright
This cheeky furry friend!

D6. Ripen

Spoiled
The flesh you let sit too long
What once was sweet
Spoiled with fragrance
Cupped in your hand
Oh so divine
That first bite
Spoiled
Your eyes that lead you astray
Your mind that wandered
Your feet that turned
The back that fled
Spoiled
When they did not wait
Browned to mush in your absence
This love you did not savour

D7. Lullaby

Still as the night is dark
Close your eyes
Rest your heart
It’ll all be there in the morning

Tomorrow we’ll have another chance
To play our games
To sing and dance
But today is at it’s end

Hear the calls of twilight
Morning birds have gone to sleep
The evening comes with different trills
Of friends we don’t normally meet

Feel your body resting heavy
Settling warm against your bed
Snuggled tight beneath blankets
Your pillow soft beneath your head

Close your eyes as they are wanting
Let go the worries of the day
Let the matters be for tomorrow
With rest comes surer words to say

Enter a world of wonder
Let sweet dreams be your guide
To a brighter, lighter morning
All the better with rested eyes

Word?

Just went over my poem selection for Sentimental and realised??? I think I’ve got it. I’m really digging everything right now and after a couple more edits I think I’ll have finished the base of the book.

I knew it was a little ambitious to say I’d finish everything in a year, it’s been two now, but it’s something that’s meant a lot to me and working on it and reflecting on it has been a great experience. I have no experience with making and publishing chapbooks so this will be another interesting experience. Writing, I can do. Putting that writing together in a pretty book bundle? That’s a lot harder. XD Even when I’m working on my stories I tend to work on scenes and string them together rather than work on the entire story from point A to point B. I take a lot of diversions and work on a lot of other things instead of just sitting down and writing a story out straight.

Anywho, I can’t wait to finish prettying up Sentimental and sharing it with everyone. It was a hard thing to work on, but right now I’m pretty satisfied with it. I just hope it’s as much a blessing to others as it has been to me. ☺️☺️☺️

Maybe I DON’T Love All My Kids Equally 👀👀👀

Just finished a scene maybe for my book, mostly just to explore some characters and their dynamics/a new direction I’m taking with them for the story. ;_; When I finished writing I realised I always end up loving my side characters more than my MCs. I think “Emilio”, and technically “Moon Woman”, are the only stories where I’m like, yes!!! I love these MCs so much and can’t wait to write 59405074059742057240 words about them. XD

It’s not that I dislike my other characters, I just end up working on a story and loving the world so much and the characters outside the main plot that tend to add more insight into the outside world. It’s fun exploring worlds. I think I’ll just have to start writing a bunch of short story anthologies because I’m not sure just focuing on one character or even group of characters will ever be enough for me. XD

I also accidentally give other characters the sort of plots I like most. I want to write a certian kind of story for my central plot, but boy can’t I help it if a little angst and drama seeps out of me and into the story too. XD With Yaisha, I wanted to write something a little more light-hearted than what I’d been working on before. Emilio is quite serious, as it follows the life of a young man who was, essentially, a child-soldier growing up and thrust into the middle of a war he wanted no part in (who does?). Moon Woman is a Fantasy/Romance, but the central plot is about the two MCs trying to solve a crime and find out what happened to one of the MC’s relations after a civil war.

I really like serious stories. This isn’t to say that some of my other stories don’t also have serious elements, but I think the overall feel of the stories are just very different. Emilio is a tragedy. It would be odd to write it with the same almost childish hope and brightness of Yaisha. Yaisha has tragic moments, but the MC and his path is very different from Emilio. Their view of the world and the landscape they must traverse just don’t have the same mood.

In saying all this…I really like the antagonist I set up for Yaisha. XD I’m having a lot of fun writing his story and I think I’m not going to have him play a more central role. I’d always wanted him in the story…but is place wasn’t quite as fixed when it came to how to insert him, what his scenes would be, what direction he goes, etc.. I think I might turn Yaisha into a story with different PoVs.

When I initially came up with the idea of Yaisha it was supposed to just be a story about a young monk who gets caught up in this party of adventurers from all over and he ends up joining their party. It was a sort of tabletop rpg type story, something you could imagine a group of very diverse, but somehow they all came together for this game, friends to make. I had a very different cast of heroes and very different plot.

When I actually started writing Yaisha, I had lost my initial idea and only remembered the “monk roped into an adventure” part. Yaisha went from a fun story that was supposed to play with ideas of fantasy worlds and the cultures and creatures that make them up, and became a story about political intrigue, rivalling adventurers (and the many different types of groups that make up this kind of vague title), and a young man who just wants to explore a wide ever expanding and changing newly formed world.

I created Yaisha’s world and ended up going in a completely different direction. I gave it three dimensions, started working on actual governments, cultures, state lines, the works. I even gave the little monk an actual name and purpose. He went from just a sort of kind yet clutzy kid monk who’s life is full of kooky mishaps and adventure, to a young man who’s struggling with his purpose in life and yearns to find a place of belonging despite growing up in a monastery. He isn’t even an actual monk yet in Yaisha! Yaisha is just still in his training stage. XD

Writing Yaisha has been lots of fun! I don’t think I’ve changed a story up this much since Emilio, and even then, Emilio hasn’t actually gone through that many changes, I just have learned more things about the world and how to best work on this story. Yaisha now has, possibly, another main character? Or a character with greater prominence, and I’m really excited to keep working with him and seeing where else this story will now go. ☺️☺️☺️

D15-17

The 15th and 17th, dedicated to the moon. Always a favourite subject of mine to write about. Antithesis was written a few years ago, and Blood Moon was written in January, inspired by the celestial phenomenon that month.

Antithesis

Our Lady the Moon
You sit perched high on your delicate throne
The bright warmth on your face all lies
I know the truth your dark side hides

Will you abandon such a faithful daughter?
A fallen priestess who worshiped at your heathen alter?
In my forsaking what I knew to be right for what felt stronger so
Would you abandon me to the darkness you so humbly shine your peace upon?

Or are my complaints the raving of the mad?
My cries go unheard
Howling prayers are answered only by wolves and dogs
The Heavens answer no prayers that the Earth can’t answer back

A howl is nothing more than lonely, without the pack that answers back

 

Blood Moon

I’m always going to see the moon and think of you
My brother in arms, we’ve put up a good fight but
It’s time for you to go home now
As the moon comes in close, kisses the earth, leaves her blood red stain on our humbled wide eyes
I’ll think of you, as I do with every thought of the celestial map
I map out my days and track the heavens as if I’m tracking you
Are we close now? No? Far? Can you see me? Can you see me? Can you see me?
I see you in my mind
I hold you with your scent
In my dreams you are absent
But your touch I feel when I’m sitting on the couch
Cold as death, still as death, dumb as death
I’m looking for you in the moon, the only thing I’ve ever seen as alive
No, more than death, beyond it
The blood and fire and hell on our minds seems so unlike you
But
Can you see me? Can you see me? Can you see me?
I’ll always reach for you
I know what we are, and what we’ve done, and what we must do in the end

 

 

D10-14

I hadn’t meant to take so long getting back to sharing poems. Lmao So here we go. A big batch today. We’re catching up on 20 poems. Luckily, I haven’t stopped writing or thinking about poems while I’ve been away. XD Anywho, let’s go. The first 5 of 20 poems. I call this series Notebook

D10-14 features five poems of similar theme! They’re poems from my notebook I never transcribed to my note app until way later.

 

Current

You flow beneath me, an invisible force
Gravity a steady constant, you’re a foreboding dark horse
Crept upon silent, you strike out swift and sure
Lost beneath uncharted depths, we’ll never again see shore

 

Fizzle

We’re a lukewarm Pepsi
Our relationship was all the neon and glam of youth, but no fulfilled promise
We, to be frank, taste better cold
In our current solitude I’ve grown to love your sugar, ah, but alas–
Your sweet is only poison to me

 

Strangers

We’re desperate, you and I, this I know
Craving intimacy as we lonely souls do–
I can’t judge…but
I can’t judge…but
Lord knows I cannot judge, my word! But!
Can you blame me my tender caution when paired with your sharp exclusion?

 

Lover

Lover, lover, we all know how the song goes
Give me that sweet loving. Love me ’till your heart beats no more.
Sweetheart, darling, my heart. My soul.
Words, all words they are to me.
They’re words and nothing more.

 

Song

I’d write a thousand words today.
I’d write a thousand more.
I’d a thousand words a day, and still I’d be a bore.
An artist is a possessed entity.
They take in thriving souls.
But to catch a soul you need a soul, and I have none at all.

 

 

Personal Interlude

I said a poem a day and I intend to have 30 poems out by the end of April, early May. I also said I wanted to write something about my migraine experience, something I mentioned on Twitter, but planned to share a longer piece here on. I’ll probably take a break from poetry and work more on my migraine essay.

I’m also still working on my #voicesonfiyah novella, The Swan Prince. It was supposed to be my Camp NaNoWriMo project until I decided working on shorter pieces like poetry would probably work best for me this month while I work on my health stuff. I might go back to it week after next seeing how things go.

I’m really curious though, have you ever tried topiramate? For migraine, particularly, because that’s why I was prescribed it. I had some really weird reactions to it I’ll go into when I make my migraine posts (it’ll probably be a series) but apparently my brain/body is just mad weird on that stuff, but a lot of people seem to not have the best experience with it. However my experience didn’t really match up with what seemed to be happening to a lot of people, unless I was just not understanding because of how they described it/how I describe and understand my body.

Anywho, that’s my update. I’ll probably do another batch poem post next Monday like I did this Monday, or possibly Sunday, but I’m really tired and coming off my meds so, we’ll see how that goes. Hopefully I’ll be able to get back to writing, because those meds really weren’t good for my language abilities at all. Whew~

Anywho, happy writings y’all. Have a good weekend! 💖💖💖

D9

Still not feeling the best, but I don’t see the doctor until Thursday. Planning to share some favourite poems on the 10th, but will still have one of my own as well.

Here’s another old one from a few years ago. A poem from 2012, a middle school? A 9th grade? poem. Conjuring the limitless confidence of youth. XD

Charming Introductions

It’s my charming personality
My soul filled witticisms
A depth no man
Woman
My age ought to know
Have insight to

Yes, it is my wonderment and elegance under fire
My calm drawl
A soothing presence
My bashfulness in honesty
No
My honesty in modesty

Truth be my arrow
Honour be my bow
and Faith my shield
Lord bless!
See what fine a fellow I am?
Myself I make blush
I understand your envy

D5-8

Quick set of poems to make up for missed days. I wasn’t having the best of weeks or weekends.

Untitled Poem (D7)

SHY GIRL FOUND DEAD AT NOON

They said,

When they found the body,

“Why did she just not say something?”

They c-c-c-could not hear her past the stutter of

conflicting interests,

when she opened her mouth and told them no.

No, no actually what I had in mind is-

Quick as hawks the snatched her tongue out of her mouth

Meek as a mouse she become

It’s magic

Magic that killed her

But you won’t see that in the articles

SHY GIRL FOUND DEAD AT NOON

What killed her?

Guess we’ll never know

The Orange and Grey and White (D5)

With white whiskered clever cheek

You should’ve known than to leave your seat

When you spied the trail of dribbling cream

Left among plated crumb scene

Young and prim as they might look

They carry a naughty streak as by the book

Like any other kitten duo as we all know by now

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer come to life and here in town!

190118 (D6 also in Sentiment)

I was wondering why I’m in a funk

Then realised it’s been a month

But more importantly this is just how I am

Letting Blood (D8)

Letting you go never hurt so bad

We shed our tears

We prick our hands

Left blooms of rouge

And peaceful plumes

We laid you down

And closed old wounds

Letting you go never hurt so bad

My heart still aches

My tears still sad

These letters unsent

Don’t matter much now

I said farewell

But I made no vows