Sentimental, It’s Up!

Thoughts

Sentimental! I finished it last month and have been so eager to share it. XD Finally I’m able to. If you’ve noticed…the blog has changed a bit XD. I added a new page for housing links to downloads and I changed the theme a bit. I think I’ll change the theme a bit more later, but I was feeling the floral vibe.

Back to Sentimental tho! I had a lot of fun working on this and I can’t wait to share more things. There are definitely poems and art that didn’t make the cut, plus it’s already a bit outdated as far as my current writing goals and interests. I’ve spoken a bit about it on Twitter, but I’m really interested in further exploring visual storytelling. As you may already know, I’ve been working on a game, but that’s just one way to tell a story. I’ve often played around with writing scripts, but never sat down and finished one because I wasn’t quite sure how best to tell the stories I wanted to tell. The stories I’m working on now are fairly clear in what mediums I think they suit, so I’m excited to go back to playing with scripts and messing around with a new way to share some writing.

I found I really enjoyed the art aspect of Sentimental, and I’ll probably make more art/poem pieces later. A bit like my Valentine playlists, I realised I really enjoy making the art first, then setting it to words. I wouldn’t say making or finding things that fit the poems was difficult, however I often found myself wanting to create something entirely new and set the collection in a completely different direction. There were so many aesthetics and themes I wanted to explore, limiting myself to the given poems was hard. XD I’m definitely going to keep making more inspired art.

What Next?

I have some personal projects I’ll be working on, GMing a game of FAE next month and working on care packages for friends☺, but when not working on those, I think I’ll return to trying to finish TLGaOS. Somehow my “cute little short stories” have turned into little almost-novelettes so…we shall see. XD Editing will hopefully take them back down to a manageable short-story length, then I’ll put that out. Not sure about selling them to mags since they’re meant to be together…however they are all very different, it wouldn’t be bad to direct the stories to individual audiences that might appreciate them more separate than together. XD Less confusion that way. The worlds in TLGaOS are all completely different, and the setting genres aren’t all the same.

As far as Yaisha, or The Monk and the Prince (G&Y) as I’m now calling it, Sentimental and a zine discord I’m currently in made me want to explore the world a bit more. I’ve been struggling to get the story written, so I figured more worldbuilding and researching, plus trying to get a better feel of characters and the setting will be nice. A couple years ago I did Blood and Ink, which is a poetry month challenge for October, and I ended up writing a few poems about YnG characters and the world.

It was all completely accidental, the prompts just lead me in that direction, but I ended up really enjoying working on these poems and wrote a few more after the event was over. I think I want to explore the histories and stories of this world in a different form than the story I was working on before. It might end up an epic poem, might end up a “collection of historical fragments,” who knows? XD I’m just gonna do whatever this story seems to want.

As for everything else, I’m just focusing on doing what I can, when I can. All in all, I hope you find some things in Sentimental you like, and I hope your days go well. Sentimental was a lot of fun to make, and I hope it brings you as much comfort to read/look at as making it brought me. 🤗🤗🤗

D15-17

The 15th and 17th, dedicated to the moon. Always a favourite subject of mine to write about. Antithesis was written a few years ago, and Blood Moon was written in January, inspired by the celestial phenomenon that month.

Antithesis

Our Lady the Moon
You sit perched high on your delicate throne
The bright warmth on your face all lies
I know the truth your dark side hides

Will you abandon such a faithful daughter?
A fallen priestess who worshiped at your heathen alter?
In my forsaking what I knew to be right for what felt stronger so
Would you abandon me to the darkness you so humbly shine your peace upon?

Or are my complaints the raving of the mad?
My cries go unheard
Howling prayers are answered only by wolves and dogs
The Heavens answer no prayers that the Earth can’t answer back

A howl is nothing more than lonely, without the pack that answers back

 

Blood Moon

I’m always going to see the moon and think of you
My brother in arms, we’ve put up a good fight but
It’s time for you to go home now
As the moon comes in close, kisses the earth, leaves her blood red stain on our humbled wide eyes
I’ll think of you, as I do with every thought of the celestial map
I map out my days and track the heavens as if I’m tracking you
Are we close now? No? Far? Can you see me? Can you see me? Can you see me?
I see you in my mind
I hold you with your scent
In my dreams you are absent
But your touch I feel when I’m sitting on the couch
Cold as death, still as death, dumb as death
I’m looking for you in the moon, the only thing I’ve ever seen as alive
No, more than death, beyond it
The blood and fire and hell on our minds seems so unlike you
But
Can you see me? Can you see me? Can you see me?
I’ll always reach for you
I know what we are, and what we’ve done, and what we must do in the end

 

 

D10-14

I hadn’t meant to take so long getting back to sharing poems. Lmao So here we go. A big batch today. We’re catching up on 20 poems. Luckily, I haven’t stopped writing or thinking about poems while I’ve been away. XD Anywho, let’s go. The first 5 of 20 poems. I call this series Notebook

D10-14 features five poems of similar theme! They’re poems from my notebook I never transcribed to my note app until way later.

 

Current

You flow beneath me, an invisible force
Gravity a steady constant, you’re a foreboding dark horse
Crept upon silent, you strike out swift and sure
Lost beneath uncharted depths, we’ll never again see shore

 

Fizzle

We’re a lukewarm Pepsi
Our relationship was all the neon and glam of youth, but no fulfilled promise
We, to be frank, taste better cold
In our current solitude I’ve grown to love your sugar, ah, but alas–
Your sweet is only poison to me

 

Strangers

We’re desperate, you and I, this I know
Craving intimacy as we lonely souls do–
I can’t judge…but
I can’t judge…but
Lord knows I cannot judge, my word! But!
Can you blame me my tender caution when paired with your sharp exclusion?

 

Lover

Lover, lover, we all know how the song goes
Give me that sweet loving. Love me ’till your heart beats no more.
Sweetheart, darling, my heart. My soul.
Words, all words they are to me.
They’re words and nothing more.

 

Song

I’d write a thousand words today.
I’d write a thousand more.
I’d a thousand words a day, and still I’d be a bore.
An artist is a possessed entity.
They take in thriving souls.
But to catch a soul you need a soul, and I have none at all.

 

 

D9

Still not feeling the best, but I don’t see the doctor until Thursday. Planning to share some favourite poems on the 10th, but will still have one of my own as well.

Here’s another old one from a few years ago. A poem from 2012, a middle school? A 9th grade? poem. Conjuring the limitless confidence of youth. XD

Charming Introductions

It’s my charming personality
My soul filled witticisms
A depth no man
Woman
My age ought to know
Have insight to

Yes, it is my wonderment and elegance under fire
My calm drawl
A soothing presence
My bashfulness in honesty
No
My honesty in modesty

Truth be my arrow
Honour be my bow
and Faith my shield
Lord bless!
See what fine a fellow I am?
Myself I make blush
I understand your envy

D5-8

Quick set of poems to make up for missed days. I wasn’t having the best of weeks or weekends.

Untitled Poem (D7)

SHY GIRL FOUND DEAD AT NOON

They said,

When they found the body,

“Why did she just not say something?”

They c-c-c-could not hear her past the stutter of

conflicting interests,

when she opened her mouth and told them no.

No, no actually what I had in mind is-

Quick as hawks the snatched her tongue out of her mouth

Meek as a mouse she become

It’s magic

Magic that killed her

But you won’t see that in the articles

SHY GIRL FOUND DEAD AT NOON

What killed her?

Guess we’ll never know

The Orange and Grey and White (D5)

With white whiskered clever cheek

You should’ve known than to leave your seat

When you spied the trail of dribbling cream

Left among plated crumb scene

Young and prim as they might look

They carry a naughty streak as by the book

Like any other kitten duo as we all know by now

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer come to life and here in town!

190118 (D6 also in Sentiment)

I was wondering why I’m in a funk

Then realised it’s been a month

But more importantly this is just how I am

Letting Blood (D8)

Letting you go never hurt so bad

We shed our tears

We prick our hands

Left blooms of rouge

And peaceful plumes

We laid you down

And closed old wounds

Letting you go never hurt so bad

My heart still aches

My tears still sad

These letters unsent

Don’t matter much now

I said farewell

But I made no vows

D3. 2 Poems!

Whoowee, yesterday was a killerday for pollen, so with that came a killer migraine. I don’t have much today, but these two poems. Here ya go. Not feeling the best so here’s something glum and something ominously fun!

Untitled Poem I Found in My Poems Document

Sir, I am a tired tired soul-
Old soul too
The sun is just too far away
My lips are frozen blue

I can’t feel its heat
I can’t touch the sky
I can’t hear the birds
Or wonder why

I’ve been abandoned
People done me wrong
They took out my heart
They locked up my song

I’m just a tired soul
A broken alarm
The sun is just too far away
I’ve done you no harm

Myth

In the dark of night when all is in rest

The cat lingers over you, it’s paws on your chest

Soft sighing, it listens, it leans in and it checks

Softer than down, it retreats with your breath

Hello April!

So, April is National Poetry Month! I don’t believe I did anything for this month last year, but I’d like to do something for the month this year. Poetry is a medium I’ve always loved, but have not embraced as enthusiastically as others when it comes to utilizing its full potential as a tool of expression. Poetry can be used as abstractly or matter-of-fact as any other art form. Despite it often being misunderstood as being needlessly difficult to understand, or unrealtable, it can be as insightful and sharp as any short story, essay, or novel.

For this month I’d like to share with you, as much as I can, time allowing, some poems of mine, poems I’ve really enjoyed, and other poetry related things. A poem a day for the month of poetry. I’ll also be reading poetry books for this month (since I’m trying to read at least one book a month, though last month I was not able to finish my book in time) so some poems may come from those books of the poems I share that aren’t mine.

I have a lot of poems all shaved up that I haven’t shared here or on my Tumblr, but if you’ve ever been on Figment or DeviantArt you might have come across once upon a time. XD I may share some of those old things. I also have many other poems I never shared anywhere, and poems from Sentimental I’ve been sitting on. Those may come up, there are only 30 days in April, and I want to try styles of poem I haven’t tried before so we shall see. XD

Anywho, with no further ado, here’s today’s poem, and happy Poetry month y’all! This poem is something light and whimsical that combines my love of story telling and verse.

Day 1. Wanderin’

“Wanderin” is an old poem I wrote while living in NC. This is one of the old poems I mentioned that was up on my DeviantArt account. It was probably written while I was in 8th or 9th grade, leaning toward 9th. A thing I love about poems, probably specifically in realtion to how I got into poetry and often why I write poetry, is how they work as snapshots of moments of your life. Is this the best poem in the world? Nope. It’s not even the best poem I’ve ever written. But, I love it the most. It’s probably one of the ones I’m most proud of and think of most often.It was a weird time for me. I’d recently moved only a year or two ago from the only continent I’d only known. I was settling into a new place. I was coping with the change through rhyme and fantasy. I created stories about fantastic worlds. I also cycled through a lot of different obsessions as I discovered new things became excited about all sorts of new interests. This poem came about during a Celtic, Tolkein, historical fiction phase I had. I was listening to Celtic and other folk music every single day almost 24/7 (basically anything that had pipes and strings, especially bag pipes and strings) and I wanted to try writing something like you’d see in a fantasy story where the heroes get a break and have a chance to sing a song.

Wanderin’

I had a chance to ponder,
upon my circumstance.
And realized that it came from blunders,
Such as leaving things up to chance!

What a ridiculous thing to do!
What a crazed and silly plight.
But then I looked across my desk
And saw a little light.

It rose up from space unknown.
It opened up a portal.
I had a little shake,
For what was this to be seen by I, me, merely a simple  mortal?

Despite my inner warnings
I traversed into a far land.
There all the dreams are merry,
And all the tragedies are sad.

The bards, oh how they do sing!
The storywaires, how they do bring about such delight!
And I looked around with wide eyes
As I took in such wondrous sights.

I went down golden paths.
And entered shady shanties
I spoke to noble thieves
Who endowed me with a galant bounty.

I traded wit with kings.
Across bejewelled gardens on great silver steeds we bound.
I even spoke to a cranky badger,
Citizen of a citystate sprawling underground.

But soon enough it was over,
I opened my eyes to dark sturdy wood.
I sat up and rubbed my sleepy eyes
And realized all that I could.

“I could visit my dream land,”
Said I bringing up some pen and ink.
Then I began a feverish scrawl
And did not get another wink of sleep.